


why don't we

by eding42



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Character Death, Death, Death-T, Depression, F/M, Faked Suicide, References to Depression, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-27 17:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12085734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eding42/pseuds/eding42
Summary: Why live when you can die? He didn't know, but death sounded awfully appealing at the moment.Two-shot, collab with ingloriousMachina.





	1. Chapter 1

Why live when you can die?

He didn't know, but death sounded awfully appealing at the moment.

He struggles.

 

XxXxXxX

 

_He killed them._

_They aren't coming back._

_I'm sorry, he cries._

_I'm so sorry._

_I could've saved you._

_You all._

 

XxXxXxX

 

It eats away at his heart, bit by bit.

Consumes it, converts it into darkness.

Guilt, hollowing his soul.

Seething doubt, always at the edge of his consciousness.

And just out of reach, he  _hears_.

 

XxXxXxX

 

_Weak._

_Stupid._

_Coward._

_the voices came to him_

_and he knows it's true_

_i'm sorry._

_so sorry._

 

XxXxXxX

 

It's only a matter of time.

He realized that the monsters were inside.

Surprising, isn't?

Only one way to kill those monsters.

He wishes.

 

XxXxXxX

 

_Just do it already, you piece of shit._

_But what about Annabe-_

_Do it before you kill her too!_

_(sob)_

_You're pathetic, you know that? Pathetic._

_Please_

_You couldn't save them, you pig, breathing the air they should be breathing._

_I know, I know. I'm so sorry._

 

XxXxXxX

 

So that evening, he says goodbye to his friends forever, and slides the deadbolt on his cabin door.

At least he has a purpose now.

Shiny blade, in his hand.

Just one small cut.

Or two - or three.

_Swallow._

 

XxXxXxX

 

if i just let go, i'll be set free

 

XxXxXxX

 

he lays on the bed dreaming, his life ebbing out.

 _this is it,_ he thinks.

he always knew that death was going to be early.

at least this way, he has some control, he reasons.

it's a beautiful night outside

everything is blurry now

calm

so quiet

somewhere, sometime, he wonders if heaven had cookies

why not?

no monsters

no worries

no pain

he can almost see the stars now

im coming

 

**Written for the National Suicide Prevention Day by eding420.**

**Remember, you,** **_you_ ** **are worth it.**

**Don't anything drag you down.**

**My PM is always, always open if you need someone to talk to.**

**This is collaboration with ingloriousMachina, who will be writing the next chapter.**

**This is my longest one shot to date.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, everyone, just a quick note. ingloriousMachina has written her own version of the death. I will be writing the _next_  chapter. **

Percy sat in deep thought. He was hesitant to do what he was about to do. Perhaps this despair was just a phase. It would come and go in its own time. He would feel fine soon. Relief was soon to follow.

He isolated himself in the dark and waited for hours. He was going to be alright. He had to wait it out. Power through it. Pain is a reminder that you're still alive.  
  


But did he deserve it?

His moment of peace left him as quickly as it came. The agony. He shuddered and writhed, tortured by his own mind. He tried to drown it out, but he couldn't. It was he who was drowning.  
  


Now he was convinced that there was only one way to surface.

Should he have said goodbye? He contemplated this. He wanted to explain himself, to write down his final thoughts. They deserved a reason, but words wouldn't come. He wasn't so sure he was thinking rationally.  
  


Only one way to surface.

Percy stepped outside for one last look around. The camp was tranquil and still, blanketed under the night sky. It would be his last glimpse of this cursed place.  
  


He longed to reach out. To apologize. To say goodbye. There was much he wanted to say, but he could not.

He hoped they would understand. Perhaps he was doing them a favor.

Percy closed the door of his cabin and made sure no one was passing through.  
  


He had what he needed. No reason to back down now.

Time to say goodnight.

It was hard to maneuver riptide in the space he had. It took much effort, but he managed to run his blade over both wrists.  
  


The sword clattered to the ground, only to return to his pocket.

Blood dripped from his shaking hands. He waited. His head swam and he bled out. Soon, he was going to be free.  
  


Percy laid down in his bunk. He felt his pulse in his ears, becoming thready. His hands were cold, and slick with blood.

His limbs, and soon his whole body were cold. So cold. The blood left in his veins ran as ice. Was this a mistake? No, of course. And it was too late, anyway. He'd made his decision.  
  


The cold was replaced with incredible warmth. He saw a lovely garden. Such a gorgeous sunrise over the ocean. Hanging flora over masterfully marble columns.

"Percy," someone unseen was speaking.  
What a beautiful voice that was washing over him. He was in love.  
  
"Percy," it must've been an angel calling his name. How beautiful it was, how beautiful!  
  
"Percy!"  
  
The voice became closer as a black flower bloomed behind his eyes.  
  
He felt himself shaking.  
  
"PERCY!"  
  
Wait a second....


End file.
